I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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