I'm so fucking centered right now
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
