it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
