so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
