He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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