Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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