My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
