I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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