Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
