I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
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They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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