New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
