Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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