I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
