I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
