she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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