Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful

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(831): View more from California

i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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(518): View more from New York

All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit

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(707): View more from California

He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She had a baby Jesus butt plug

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.

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