watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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