I'm lost and stupid without you.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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