Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
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Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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