I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
