Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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