Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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