So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
