Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
