I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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