One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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