If that was your dad, he is hot
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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