i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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