how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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