Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
