Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
