2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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