I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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