I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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