i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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