I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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