oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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