All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.