It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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