Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all