so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn