The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
