textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i came on her dog
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize