i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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