It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
