i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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