I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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