Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
