can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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