She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize