How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
