Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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