Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
