He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize