How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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