What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
