so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
