Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
