On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize