Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
