D3 body, D1 cock
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
time to smoke my breakfast
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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