So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
