you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
