porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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