Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Girls should come with a carfax report
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
