I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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