were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
