Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
