i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize