Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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