You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
