she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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