after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
