oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
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My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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